Expectations

Coming from an Asian background, a lot of was expected of me. Asian parents tend to push their kids to 'succeed' with a lot of force. This is both a good and bad thing but sometimes more bad than good.

I've always had a huge drive to "do well" - a drive that was well nurtured by my workaholic parents. As I got older, this sometimes became a bit of a problem. My definition of "doing well" gets further and further out of my reach the more I "do well". Love what you have, friends have told me, but how do I do that when I don't have enough?

At my lesson one week, I finished playing an etude and commented to my teacher that I hear more bow noise when crossing strings. He told me that I am not creating more bow noise than before...it's just that my ear is getting better and I have become more sensitive to the way I sound. My expectations are growing....and that I should keep those in tact. I should not let the noise of expectation come into my practice.

I realized how true that is for everything in life. I once read a little piece on how to meditate. The first point made in this article was to let go of all expectations of the practice of meditation and what it will do for you. What a great perspective! When you are not bound by your expectations, you have......freedom.