The Magic Pill

I've been taking lessons now for about 9 years. Recently people have started calling me an 'advanced student'. The first time I heard that, I thought..."No...I still struggle with getting the intonation right in Pachelbel..I'm definitely not advanced!!". After a few more mentions..I settled with the label.

The label is a strange one to me. In many ways, I still struggle with the same things I struggled with years ago. I still have trouble sightreading difficult passages but I freak out less often when I come across sixteenth notes. I still fake it in orchestra but now I make an attempt to practice the passages that look impossible which helps me not have to fake it as much. I still freak out a little bit when I see 5 flats but I know to remember to make the G flat. My lessons are less about learning the notes..more about phrasing and bowing.

However I think the biggest difference between me as a student now and me as a student 5 years ago is the concept of the magic pill. I used to think that one day, I'll be a "good cellist" or certainly, "advanced".  I now know that this is a very very fluid thing.  Maybe one day, I am a "good cellist" but the next day I could easily be a terrible one who should quit immediately.  The journey is not linear...not in the least bit.  There is no magic pill where you wake up one day and become all that you want to be.  It really isn't about the destination...it's all about the road to that destination. Sounds cliche but it's so true.  And I've also realized that you better enjoy that road...because that destination is a moving target.