I've been taking lessons now for about 9 years. Recently people have started calling me an 'advanced student'. The first time I heard that, I thought..."No...I still struggle with getting the intonation right in Pachelbel..I'm definitely not advanced!!". After a few more mentions..I settled with the label.
The label is a strange one to me. In many ways, I still struggle with the same things I struggled with years ago. I still have trouble sightreading difficult passages but I freak out less often when I come across sixteenth notes. I still fake it in orchestra but now I make an attempt to practice the passages that look impossible which helps me not have to fake it as much. I still freak out a little bit when I see 5 flats but I know to remember to make the G flat. My lessons are less about learning the notes..more about phrasing and bowing.
However I think the biggest difference between me as a student now and me as a student 5 years ago is the concept of the magic pill. I used to think that one day, I'll be a "good cellist" or certainly, "advanced". I now know that this is a very very fluid thing. Maybe one day, I am a "good cellist" but the next day I could easily be a terrible one who should quit immediately. The journey is not linear...not in the least bit. There is no magic pill where you wake up one day and become all that you want to be. It really isn't about the destination...it's all about the road to that destination. Sounds cliche but it's so true. And I've also realized that you better enjoy that road...because that destination is a moving target.
Saturday, October 24, 2026
Fear Motivates
Enough of Popper for a bit! For the past 2 concerts, I've had to sit in second chair in orchestra. The first time was because the person who normally sits up there had to go out of town unexpectedly. The dress rehearsal before the concert was when they asked me to move up. Talk about FEAR. The piece was a Sibelius Violin Concerto and the concertmaster from a major orchestra was the soloist. Also, most of the third movement of this piece is played by 2 cellos only so I never had to learn most of the third movement. Not so anymore! I read it at the dress rehearsal and had one night to learn it and played it the next night at the concert.
The two concerts made me realize how much I can accomplish when I have to do it. Amazingly I was able to play most of the passages in the last concert up to speed!
This is a huge step forward for me because I used to think that I could never get it up to speed and that I just needed a few more years under my belt before I could do it. The 'Ah ha!' moment came with a statement my teacher said. I was complaining to him about how fast the passages were and that there was no way I could play it that fast. He said..just start at Point A (a slow speed) and click it up . What was the point if I knew that I couldn't do get it up to speed by the concert, I asked. He paused and said.."I have found that that was always my excuse for not starting at point A".
hmm
So I went home and started practicing the passages I couldn't play at painfully slow speeds. This is not a new method of practice. My teacher has often told me that I was practicing things at too fast of a tempo. Emily has written many times about practicing slowly. Passage after passage, I practiced it at a third of the speed. If I found that I could play it repeatedly at the slow speed, I clicked up the speed on the metronome. It was only a day later that I found that I could play it at half the speed. It was only a week later that I found that I could play it at a few clicks shy of tempo. It wasn't consistent and when it broke down, I would wind back down to a slow tempo and started again.
The method works. A couple of weeks later at the concert, I was playing most of the stuff at speed. It's pretty amazing! Being in the hot seat for the past two concerts made me resort to practicing the way my teachers have told me to practice. I can't tell you how much my practice has changed in the past 2 concerts.
The two concerts made me realize how much I can accomplish when I have to do it. Amazingly I was able to play most of the passages in the last concert up to speed!
This is a huge step forward for me because I used to think that I could never get it up to speed and that I just needed a few more years under my belt before I could do it. The 'Ah ha!' moment came with a statement my teacher said. I was complaining to him about how fast the passages were and that there was no way I could play it that fast. He said..just start at Point A (a slow speed) and click it up . What was the point if I knew that I couldn't do get it up to speed by the concert, I asked. He paused and said.."I have found that that was always my excuse for not starting at point A".
hmm
So I went home and started practicing the passages I couldn't play at painfully slow speeds. This is not a new method of practice. My teacher has often told me that I was practicing things at too fast of a tempo. Emily has written many times about practicing slowly. Passage after passage, I practiced it at a third of the speed. If I found that I could play it repeatedly at the slow speed, I clicked up the speed on the metronome. It was only a day later that I found that I could play it at half the speed. It was only a week later that I found that I could play it at a few clicks shy of tempo. It wasn't consistent and when it broke down, I would wind back down to a slow tempo and started again.
The method works. A couple of weeks later at the concert, I was playing most of the stuff at speed. It's pretty amazing! Being in the hot seat for the past two concerts made me resort to practicing the way my teachers have told me to practice. I can't tell you how much my practice has changed in the past 2 concerts.
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